On my mind

Every day this week, I sat at the computer and attempted to write my monthly letter to Levi. He has been one year old for a week now, and I still don’t have a milestone post worth sharing. My words are jumbled; my sentences, confusing. Why is this month’s update so much harder to write? Is it because talking about his last official month as a baby is too emotional for me? Perhaps. Is it because I’m less prepared, having not taken as many notes as I took for other months? Maybe a little bit.

No, I think the main reason why I can’t write a monthly letter worth reading is because I’m too distracted. I can’t quiet all of thoughts running through my mind, and I literally can’t hear myself think.

So instead of posting a half-ass letter to Levi, one I would surely critique harshly later on, I’ve decided to share with you everything that’s on my mind. Like a brain dump or a virtual therapy session.

In no particular order, here’s what I’ve been thinking about lately:

• Levi’s one-year portrait session is schedule for this evening, but will it be too hot to shoot them outside?
• Should I reschedule for early in the morning on another day?
• But what if we can’t find a morning that works and Levi is 13 months old by the time we can reschedule?
• If we do them tonight, what will we all wear?
• I have so much laundry to do.
• I have to clean the basement because JB’s mom is arriving to Omaha tonight and will be sleeping downstairs.
• I really want to redecorate the basement.
• Maybe I can rearrange furniture and hang some art on the walls this afternoon.
• I need to get a manicure this afternoon, especially if we are still taking family photos.
• Should I cancel Levi’s midday playdate so that I have more time to run errands?
• I need to go to the supermarket.
• What are we going to serve for lunch at Levi’s birthday party on Sunday?
• I really need to count the RSVPs and decide whether we need to borrow/rent tables and chairs for the backyard.
• I hope it doesn’t rain on Sunday.
• Should I make or buy a cake for the party?
• Or should I serve cupcakes?
• Normal-size cupcakes or mini cupcakes?
• I really need to get organized for this party.
• What should we do with Briscoe during the party?
• I need to write more posts for Lifetime Moms this month.
• I can’t forget to submit my hours for my copy editing job today.
• I can’t forget to RSVP for a wedding in September that we were invited to. The deadline was yesterday.
• I want to take new head shots to use with my freelance writer byline but I can’t afford $300 for them.
• How can I make more money?
• I need to finalize plans for a trip to NYC in August.
• I’m nervous about going to a blogging conference.
• Is it even worth investing time and money into this blog?
• Does anybody read Bunny & Dolly?
• Maybe I should quit blogging all together.
• Maybe I should just go back to bed.

Another reason why I’m so anxious to post Levi’s 12-month-old photo and monthly letter is because I have an AMAZING giveaway to go along with it. Maybe the most exciting giveaway yet. But I can’t tell you about it until I post his milestone update, and I can’t post his milestone update until I’m able to think clearly. Let’s hope that happens quickly.

{cell phone cover image found here via Babble}